Keeping My Boyfriend Sexually Attracted
Dr. Neder: I read one of your articles about how to keep my boyfriend interested in me sexually. You said to try to change things up but honestly I feel like I just want to be myself because if he fell in love with who I am then why should I change just for him to show interest in me again? He says that he would like a challenge and play hard to get sometimes and to tell him no more but, I feel like Im playing games and Im not exactly into it. Please try to help me figure out a way to get his interest back for me without me having to feel like I have to put on an act and be someone Im not. ==================== Hello! Let me tell you a little story: One day, this inventor created the worlds greatest mousetrap. Never before had anyone ever seen anything so impressive! He was very proud of his work and just knew that hed become a multi-millionaire because of how great his new invention was. The problem was that nobody bought it. If it was so great, why didnt anyone buy it? Simple: it cost $200 each and was so complicated to use that nobody could figure it out. So, rather than change his mousetrap, he went about trying to convince everyone how great it was, but they didnt listen to him. They said nice things to placate him, but in fact, they still didnt buy his mousetrap. Finally, as an old man at the end of his life, he was just bitter that everyone else was "stupid" and just couldnt see his vision. ..and everyone kept buying mousetraps for $1 that were "good enough". So, why did I tell you that story? Youre becoming that inventor. Youre convinced that your boyfriend should just like everything about you without you having to change or grow or do anything. You shouldnt give him what hes asking for because it means you have to do some work. So, one day, hell dump you and go find some woman that WILL give him what he wants. Then, youll be left bitter and unhappy, believing that hes "stupid" for not knowing what he had. Unfortunately, hell never know what he had because all he could see (and remember) was that girlfriend that didnt want to put out any effort to be what he needed and she figured it should just be "good enough". There is nothing in this world that is more wasteful that this sort of attitude. Its not an "act" or a put-on or anything like that to be what your boyfriend wants you to be! In fact, its all about relationship management. Sure, you dont want to have to be the only one that works hard to manage your relationship, but that doesnt mean it takes no work whatsoever! Every relationship takes work and you know exactly what work yours needs. You should be very happy that your boyfriend actually TOLD you what he wants - many guys (and girls!) just think you should already know and get angry when you dont! Now, with all of that said, Id caution you to get the REAL story from your boyfriend. Honestly, I seriously doubt that he always wants you to tell him "no". Maybe he wants that once in a great while, but trust me; no man wants to have to constantly work for his partners affection! This is likely his way of telling you something else. What that is, I dont specifically know. Perhaps he wants to you to take on a character that challenges him where he has to become a little more aggressive with you or something like that. Be careful about reading in the wrong thing here - go talk to him instead! Communication is THE aphrodisiac. Get a very clear picture of what he wants and then simply become that woman. Youll never lose him if you do this, but youre actually showing him the door if you dont. Best regards... ------------------------------------------------------------------ Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Womans Worldtm" (volumes I and II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman. Copyright (c) 2007, Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved.
