Turning Friendship Into A Relationship
Heres a familiar scenario...
You go out, do your leg work, and meet a girl you really like. You hit it off, and wanting it to go further, you spend quite a bit of time with her.
You should become intimate; but somehow, somewhere, things go wrong. Really wrong. You hear the words that every man hates hearing when trying to attract a woman: "Lets just be friends".
Many a man has felt attraction toward a girl but didnt know how to proceed because it had already been established that he and she were "just friends." And as anyone whos been in that situation can tell you - when that happens, you have NO IDEA how to change it!
Most guys out there have been in a similar plight (at least I know I have!). Several years ago, however, I discovered a secret largely unknown by most men.
I realized the mistake most guys make is in thinking they have to coax a woman they are friends with into seeing them as a potential boyfriend before making a move on her.
Think of the guy, for example, who attentively watches and listens as his "gal pal" wails over her current love life, and then assures her that hed make a better boyfriend than her current one.
Or, to take another example, think of the guy whos been friends with a woman for years and finally gets up the gall to tell her his true feelings.
Both of these are very common cases - and both of them are the WORST possible things you could do to if you actually want to get a result!
Why are both of these avenues so bad?
Because theyre incongruent with the pre-established "Just Be Friends" condition that has been imposed on the relationship!
You cant simply change her mind about this by being logical, or conversely, melodramatic about this. A confession wont work.
But heres where things take a bizarre turn for the better.
Many women have no qualms about becoming romantically involved with their guy friends. To many of these women, this is less of a big deal than dating or becoming his girlfriend! (Strange, but true.)
Understand - women have needs too. Even women who explicitly tell you that they are only open to having a platonic relationship are probably more interested in moving beyond that than you think.
I should know. Most of the women Ive been friends with whom explicitly stated that our relationship was strictly platonic, I ended up sleeping with.
When women tell men that they only want to be friends, most men feel a bit disappointed - and women pick up on this. And that creates a tension that ruins the friendship and puts her on guard when shes around.
When women say this to me, I always look relieved as I utter, "Thank God... Im glad you realize that you dont have a chance with me."
Now, this is a funny way of diffusing the situation, but its also a way of setting the proper frame that youre the one in charge of choosing who gets to sleep with who.
See, the key to turning that "gal pal" into a full-blown "lady love" is to generate arousal with her, and then compel her to ACT on that arousal.
Dont in any way, shape or form try to persuade a woman youre friends with into dating you or considering you as her boyfriend. This may seem logical, but it is counter productive!
Try to become as attractive as possible to her by having fun, and flirting! Clean yourself up and make her rethink how she sees you. If you can fire up some intrigue within her, things will start to move down the path you want!
You are dealing with EMOTIONS here. Dont try to directly change their behavior - instead, change the emotions they experience. It will be for the better, I promise you that.
Joseph Matthews has been instructing guys how to meet women since 2004, and is widely recognized as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to learn more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.