Become More Likeable With a Change in Attitude
Many lonely people have trouble making friends because they have low self esteem and because they have never developed good social skills. When people dont think very much of themselves, they have a hard time making friends with other people. When people dont like themselves, they are convinced they are unlikeable. They dont believe that anyone else would like them either.
If you dont like yourself, and if you are lonely, you need to change your attitude. A person who doesnt like himself or herself will often end up having no social life. Even if other people like him and include him in their social gatherings, he will feel like they will soon reject him. Sometimes it becomes easier to reject others before they can reject you.
Another thing that can happen when you have low self esteem is that you will be so needy in relationships that other people will avoid you. Or you may attract people to you who want to exploit you for sex or for money.
A lack of self love can lead to many problems in relationships. First, it can be hard to form friendships and romantic relationships with other people when you dont really believe that anybody could actually like you.
If you have poor self esteem and somebody actually seems to like you, you may spend a lot of time worrying that they will soon discover the real you. You may have an overwhelming fear of being rejected by others if you constantly reject yourself. You may fear getting rejected even when other people want to be your friend and show kindness towards you.
Many people with low self esteem can end up behaving in a shy manner, even if they are not actually shy. If you dont think youre a worthwhile person, if you dont think youre very interesting, if you dont believe that you have very much to offer in a relationship, how can you believe that other people would actually want to spend time with you?
Before you can believe that other people can like you, you have to make sure you like yourself first!
What should you do if you dont really like yourself very much and you dont believe that other people like you either?
If your inability to like yourself is very extreme, you may need to see a good therapist who can help you find ways to like yourself. You may need help in seeing the good qualities you have to offer. You need to start believing that you are actually likeable and loveable. You may benefit from learning some social skills so that you can talk more easily with others.
If your lack of self esteem is more moderate in nature, you may be able to improve your self esteem without seeing a therapist. One useful technique might be to make a list of all your good qualities and review it often. In addition, you may find it helpful to constantly repeat positive affirmations about yourself. When you catch yourself saying negative and hurtful things towards yourself, look for ways to be loving and supportful to yourself instead.
Dont allow others to abuse you emotionally. Make sure you are committed to finding ways to be more loving towards yourself.
This article is written by Royane Real, author of the special report "How to Overcome Your Shyness and Your Fear of Rejection and Have the Friends and Lovers Youve Always Wanted" Learn to overcome your fears and develop confidence. Download it today at http://www.lulu.com/real