Deciding To Break Up.
It is never an easy decision when a relationship comes to the point where each person must decide whether to move to the next level or to end it.Breaking up can be difficult to do especially if there is little solid conflict going on in the relationship. There are many different factors that can determine whether a relationship moves on or if the couple decides to dissolve the union. Reviving broken relationships takes a lot of work which many people are not willing to put into an already difficult relationship.
One thing that needs to be clear when deciding to end a relationship is the reason why the party needs to end it. When one party wants to do this, there needs to be a clear reason why and there needs to be a definitive action. There is little use in blaming one another for the ending of a relationship. One needs to be frank regarding the cause of the disenchantment or the lack of love and affection that now exists. Deciding to break up based on lost love is one of the most obvious reasons but can be dangerous with respect to the reactions of the other party.
One of the most important steps in making the decision to either stay together or to break up is for the couple to sit down and honestly tell each other if they are willing to continue in the relationship. In other words, each person must commit to the other to pursue the relationship and work on their problem areas. Sometimes it is a good idea to set a time limit on the work so that the relationship can be re-evaluated at that time, which gives the couple a tangible time-frame in which to accomplish some progress.
Once the determination is made by each party that they want to continue with the relationship rather than breaking up, then the next step is to decide whether a third party is needed to help sort through the troubled areas of the relationship. This third party brings an objective viewpoint to the relationship so that the flaws in everyone can be addressed in order to make the relationship as a whole even stronger. It is usually a good idea to have the third party be someone other than a friend, unless it is someone that both parties agree upon as a person who loves both individuals in the couple so that one person does not end up feeling picked on by the third party. Sometimes the third party will need to be a minister or counselor so that a professional can bring their skills into helping each party in the couple improve individually and as a couple.
Normally, the biggest difficulties the couple has are in communication, so that many of the issues the couple might be experiencing can be resolved if each party understands the other partys viewpoint. Many couples fail to understand that men and women communicate differently and view situations differently, so each person has to learn to communicate clearly to the other, understanding these differences. In addition, the backgrounds of each person in the relationship, such as whether their parents are still married, how many brothers and sisters they have, if they experienced any trauma in their lives, etc. can affect how the couple relates to each other in the present. Sorting through these experiences can help the relationship to heal rather than coming to the point of breaking up.
There are a few things that one needs to consider before deciding to break up, though. Boredom can be eliminated by trying to revive the relationship with both of your help. Both may acknowledge the fact that there is something wrong and both of you can try to rekindle what has been lost or dormant due to the lack of commitment of either or both parties. Making a decision on whether or not to break up is an important thing to try and accomplish and will take a lot of work. It can also be frustrating work if the feeling or commitment is not really there and if this is the case it is better to accept the inevitable, finish it and move on.
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