Overprotective Parents: 6 Reasons Why Parents are Labeled Helicopter Parents
Many of todays parents might have partied like it was 1999 during the 90s but the party is over. These overprotective mommies and daddies have children now and theyre watching them like hawks. No matter where their children are, theyre never too far away.
Most parents certainly mean well. They want the best for their children. Its clear that parents should get involved with their childrens lives as a positive mentor, teacher, and guide. As a society, we want parents to care about their childrens feelings, successes, and goals. But occasionally, some parents may just go overboard-- which can be a detriment to their childrens ability to learn self reliance.
A helicopter parent is one who hovers over their child and swoops in at any sign of discomfort or challenge. They are considered by most to be overprotective.
Parents can be overprotective for all different reasons. Here are a few:
1. Need for control: Parents can not control the terrorists. They have no control over the pedophiles or the kidnappers they read about in the paper. They can, however, control how their children spend their time and of course, with whom.
2.Bigger, Better, Faster: Children who are learning skills are usually slower and less adept than their parents. Therefore, its not surprising for parents to feel that "It will be faster, bigger, bolder, and just plain better if I take charge."
3. Fear the failure: These Moms and Dads can not stand by and watch their child feel inadequate, unprepared, or miserable in any way. It is too heartbreaking. They feel it is their responsibility to protect their child from these negative feelings.
4. Desire to live vicariously: These Moms and Dads spend their time doing a large amount of their childs work and looking for acceptance and approval for their own performance. They throw themselves into every activity their child does and take it personally when their child does not succeed.
5. Entitlement: These parents are constantly checking to see how you are treating their child in comparison to others. They keep their eyes on everyone elses plate. They believe that their child should get more of your time, additional energy from your staff, and lots of free "extras." If it will help their child, they will ask for it.
6. Need to keep them young: Some Moms and Dads are saddened by the idea of their children maturing and needing them less. When children are dependent on their parents, parents can feel needed and wanted.
It takes a very patient, secure parent to allow their children to employ self reliance. Children who are self reliant are confident in their own skills and therefore, are more apt to go after their dreams.
Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman is a success coach, child development specialist, and parenting expert. Known as "The Character Queen," she;s the creator or the Powerful Words Character System, a character education program for childrens activity centers, families, and daycares. To contact Dr. Robyn or for more information, please visit http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com or to take part in her Powerful Parenting Blog, visit http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com