Getting Your Ex Back - The Month of No-Contact
Getting Your Ex Back - The Month of No-Contact
If youve read many of my articles, Im sure youve heard me recommend a month of no contact with your ex after the breakup. A lot of people seem to have difficulty understanding this rule and why its so important, so today Im going to elaborate on this odd-seeming but very effective strategy.
First off, there are a LOT of reasons why you would do this...Ill split it into two main ideas though: preventing more damage and creating opportunities.
Preventing More Damage:
Right after a breakup, a lot of emotion is flying around...and it can be really easy to fly off the handle and say or do things that you later regret. Theres already enough against you with the general circumstances of the breakup, so why add to the troubles?
Prolongued contact can result in many unsavory blunders, from simply showing an unattractive desperation to the more specific classic mistakes like Text Message Terrorism or Drunk Dialing. Any contact between you two would have to be very tentative and carefully orchestrated...and the fact is, thats really hard to do when theres so much "clouding the air."
Creating Opportunities:
Oddly enough, simply not communicating can be a constructive force as well as damage-control. By not being in each others faces, you both find access to many new opportunities for positive work on yourselves that can make a reunion between you a lot smoother.
Both of you get the opportunity to pull yourselves together and be ready for next time theres any contact. Getting your head straight is tough to do when theres more aggravation going on, so the "peace" of not being thrust together is very beneficial to the healing process. In addition, you get a chance to plan your strategy to get your ex back, and your partner gets the chance to actually miss you (something thats hard to do if you never really left his/her life).
As you can see, theres more to this advice than just "let him go." A lot of people may think Im just telling them to get over their exes and move on when I suggest the No-Contact rule, but its honestly a genuine technique for rebuilding the relationship. Trying to reconcile with your partner without ever taking this break is generally a lot harder, since theres really been no room for anything to change from how things were when they crashed down.
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